Top 25 Things About Things

My Top 25 Musings on 2011.

25. We decided to add a 13th zodiac sign and give ourselves a personality disorder.
It's like a civil war inside me. Apparently, the earth shifted and made way for the new sign called Ophiuchus and I went from being an Aquarius to a Capricorn. Basically, ew. Sorry, earth - you cant make me change! You're not my real dad anyway.


24. Britney Spears turned 30 and Amy Winehouse will not. Someone made a bunch of money in their Celebrity Death pool from 2011. Good for you for making it off the list the right way, Brit.

23. My best friend Evie joined Facebook. She may not like it or really use it, but she did it. Now I can stop being consistently disappointed in her access to ex crushes she's mentioned over the years and I can quit starting most sentences with "Well, on facebook.........."



22. The Packers won the Super Bowl. Apparently, winning a super bowl doesn't foster a sense of satisfaction in the hearts of fans and players, it actually ignites a fire that cant be contained or satiated until all other social activities are forsaken and compromised, like 30th birthdays in Mexico that happen to take place on February 2nd.

21. Verizon started selling the Iphone. Little known fact: Siri was actually a profit who was an apprentice to Nostradamus and predicted two major titans in the phone industry would unite like Sam & Diane. We love them together, but they just cant seem to stay happy. He knows he wasnt her first choice.



20. Two of my favorite people moved to France. And just as Johnny Depp decided to move back to America. Coincidence? I think Michael wanted the country all to himself.

19. Charlie Sheen gets replaced by Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men. Why do all of us have to pay for something we didnt do? Just like the kid who steals the teacher's pencil and the whole class has to give up recess.....let's do right by ourselves and cancel that sh*t show.




18. Greek Yogurt rocked the dairy world like a hurricane. 2010's bacon renaissance was not to be topped. So much fiber! So tangy!! A healthy substitute for sour cream! And still prevents yeast infections in women on antibiotics. I mean, who could ask for more?

17. The Hunger Games quenched our inner Tween's appetite. Alot darker than the Twilight series but I'm still one of a select few who thinks Katniss is a lesbian. No mention of a single gay in all of Panem? Suspicious.

16. I fell in love with beer, then gave it up, then rekindled that fire! 6 months of wedding diet vodka sodas never tasted so pedestrian than when I tried Dogfishead's Hellhound.

15. Words With Friends success leads to distrust in opponents, *ahem* I mean friends. I'm sorry but how are you not cheating? 67 points on QAT? Also, a perfectly appropriate place for your mother to use the words twat and vulva innocently.



14. Melissa McCarthy wins an Emmy for 'Bridesmaids'. I know, I dont get it either. Mike & Molly has been seen by 2 people and those people accidentally taped it thinking it was another crime scene show.

13. I decided to learn to sew. It wont make me fat and I will learn some patience in the process. Win, win.



12. Planet Earth 0, The Kardashians 10. Despite boring plot archs, sham weddings and out of wedlock children who resemble dead patriarchs they are still #1 in someone's book. How can we shake these pests!?

11. The Occupy Movement Occupied..........my coworker's house? In an amazing turn of events, the occupy movement settled into a "foreclosed" house my coworker was in esgro to purchase and now has 100 people in his new "house" squatting. Now the 99% is against even the 99%?



10. Podcasts created 8 million hours of content no one cares about but me. It's like listening to a magazine. Sure I need to know about how to use an ipod earbud as a lightsource or why Terri Gross loves limes. I'll even listen to a show about listening to PHISH if it has Adam Scott.

9. I watched Friday Night Lights and grew as a person. I'm proud to never have to explain to people why I have no heart. No one does "cry face" better than Connie Britton, not even Claire Danes.

8. Osama Bin Laden was captured. I dont really have a joke for this.

7. Groupon replaced "impulse buys" as a money waster. Mostly, I buy them and forget about them, then forget them when I actually go to use it. It's a viscous cycle. At least when I buy a stupid pencil at the grocery store as a joke I lose it a year after using it.


6. Ricin is now a word we all know. At least the cool people who watch Breaking Bad.

5. Mumford & Sons brings Folk Rock back to the masses. Both amazing music to dance to, to work out to and it doesn't hurt that it has bluegrass tendencies and isn't categorized as hillbilly. Take that, Cotton Eyed Joe!

4. I commented on someone from High School's status on facebook along with 7 other people and she "liked" every comment but mine. I should defriend her right?

3. Casey Anthony and Amanda Knox both set free. But only 1 had a lifetime movie starring Hayden Panetierre. I hope when they make the LTM of Case Anthony she's played by Party of Five's Lacey Chabert and her dad is played by Joe Simpson.

2. Google + failed. Poor Google +. You are as irrelevant Netscape Navigator, Lycos and jokes about cookies.

1. I got married! and took 2 weeks off of work for the first time ever. I also saw alot of other friends get married and engaged. I know none of them got it at Jared's. My only wedding advice is ALWAYS, always, always assign seating. You're not being "breezy".

The Pilot Prowl

The point of this picture is to let you know: you don't need to put waffle batter in a waffle maker. You can make so many things! I put choco chip cookie dough in and out popped these cookies that LOOK LIKE WAFFLES! Next stop: brownie batter and the infamous Falafel Waffle of internet fame.

Also, I've been on the Pilot Prowl. Every year I watch a few just to see what innovation is out there and uninspired alot of new shows can be. Here's my assessment:

#1 Best Pilot of The Season: Homeland on Showtime. Equal parts suspense and political thriller this show follows a just released POW from the Iraq war who is suspected of being a traitor by Claire Danes. Granted, I have not seen a 2nd episode of this cat and mouse saga but it was the only 1 I left wanting more. The best description of the style is - if you took movie Enemy Of The State and gave it a little Fischer King and then sealed it up with some Three Kings. The only negative is a very subdued Mandy Patinkin. Leave him out.

Best Vehicle Pilot: Cute cute snappy and cute. I think I love this show just for now. I would highly recommend it, I would even QUOTE IT, but how long can the premise last? I can tell from the beginning every episode the plot will go : Jess is funny>but her guy friends are so normal! > oh man they love her anyway. The end. I think it will do what Community did and find a strong calling and like a diviner towards water, find an audience that likes weird shit to happen and cater to it all with their star quarterback, Miss Zeschanel.

The Old Wait And See: Whitney on NBC. I can see why people would like it and I have myself watched 2 episodes so far but I CANNOT GET OVER A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGH TRACK. It's sort of vaudevillian to me. Setup: Joke: Setup: Joke: Lesson: Joke : Joke coming from nowhere! :Lesson. I give it a B.

Come Back In A Different Life: 2 Broke Girls on CBS. This show is essentially Zack & Cody's Suite Life only its about adults who arent twins and has R rated jokes. I would vote for this to be stripped of its laugh track, shot in HD, moved to FX and showrun by Louis CK. Otherwise, I call foul on this show.

I dont get it: Suburbgatory. I mean really, I dont get it. It was more of a commentary opening scene of a 90s movie than anything ever lasting. Also, Jeremy Sisto as a dad is wack.

Not For Me But You Can Have It: I dont have a kid, baby humor is lost on me but I am all for equal life-style opportunity comedies. You can have it, Ill let you and even with NO judgement.


And lastly, I havent watched you yet but I am so excited to!

TO DIY OR NOT TO DIY?

My dream was to have a crafty wedding. I knew from the start that Shawn and I would be collaborating on a lot of things for this festival of love and we turned out to be SUCH a great team. I wanted to look back and not regret putting the work into it and I look at it am SO proud of all the touches! If you want to DIY for your wedding know these two things: ITS REALLY HARD WORK and ITS NOT CHEAP. Dont mistake the two.

Here is the rundown of what we crafted and what other people crafted!

The Brooch Bouquets. I sent out a call to people's jewelry boxes for old or unused brooches for these delights. My mother, Shawn's mother and a few trips to Haight street were able to secure me enough to make 7 for my bridesmaids. Each had about 10 pieces.

The Table Numbers. Okay, I lied. Some of these were cheap! We bought picture frames from Ikea and my bridesmaid Jenny came up for a long weekend in SF where we painted them grey and glued on tiles from the game Bananagrams. Inside we simply put our invitation chopped up cause let's be honest: it looks cute. These are also Shawn's books but he did not write them.

The Love Preserves. The saddest revelation post wedding was that NO ONE KNEW we made all the Jams and Jellies that were the wedding gifts! Sad sad sad. Anyway, we made 125 of them in 5 different flavors: Balsamic Onion Marmalade, Strawberry Rhubarb, Blueberry Apricot, Apple Butter and Lemon Ginger and Rosemary Curd. Sososososo good! Yum!

The Bunting. My grandma made the bunting with my mom! Like a deconstructed quilt.

Name & Table Assignments. We orded tags online, hand wrote them and stamped the acks with cute owls and forks and knives. The best part of the setup was the white stand that my grandfather made!

Cute Sign! Where people were from. My mom made this! Sorry to Kris and Darcy for not putting Atlanta, GA. You moved after I gave the names to my mom.

Hair Piece. My cousin Emily made this for me for my big day! Loved wearing something my cousin made.

QUICK WEDDING RECAP!

Where to start? I got married to Shawn Schmieding and became Kate Schmieding. Bittersweet to let the Kugler go, but I am going to make it my last name so I can remember where I came from (the little people) - for the rest of my life. It's cliche to say but it was the best weekend of my life!

No one told me that the best feeling in the entire world is having everyone you love in the same place at the same time. It's like a sci-fi movie up in here! Like the world could just combust at anytime from all the love.

THANK YOU to everyone who came that weekend! It was the best.

Small Moments Add Up To Big Memories. The I do's were such a small part of the wedding to me and I was glad to have had some quiet and not so quiet moments with friends and family both leading up to the wedding and after. My favorite moments were:

.....drinks on the Hudson River with our families on Tuesday, we all love beers! And the Kugler-Schmiedings definitely get along well. Happy hearts. All Shawn's family at my house for lunch on Thursday, too. It wasnt the same without Danielle, Dennis and William. When they get there it was perfect.

......Mother-Daughter day while Shawn's fam was in Boston. Movies, lunch, work out - awesome!

.....a quiet breakfast with Pam, Evie and Natalie on Friday am at Cafe Madison. Good balance of gossip, girly love and "calm before the storm", a true nest of comfort.

.....Victory Cafe, post rehearsal dance and drinkathon. What better way to kick off a weekend of debauchery with throwing back some $4 drinks on a summer night on the sidewalks of Albany and a jukebox pumped full of quarters? The wedding party was in full effect and ready to shine. LOTS of mems.

......The Kickball Game. I mean - it was the best day of all! Friends loving friends. We didnt win but we did rally to play a losers tournament which made me so happy.

.....City Beer Hall. PERFECT NIGHT! The groom rode a mechanical bull as did many other wedding attendants. Great night with everyone! It was so hard to pull myself away from the party by my self imposed 1am curfew. I could have stayed in that bar the whole night, every person there meant so much! Perfect. Perfect, melding of friends.

.......Slumber Party, table of 3: Brett & Meagan were excellent pre-nuptial company.

.......At the wedding (quickly) I loved our friend Michael O'Leary marrying us! Loved the ceremony. It was touching and simple, but super personal. We will forever be in debt to him. A very fun dance party to 2 Legit 2 Quit. The amazing toasts of Meagan and Josh Mathy. Our friend Beth Wittig showing up! The amazing makeup of Kate Tritto. It takes a village people to make me good looking. Shawn's vows were so amazing.

.........I would say the post wedding McGearys was also fun but......I only stayed til 1am. wa wa.

........and finally, I love a good hungover "stumble into the breakfast the next morning"......good recaps, good good byes.....the perfect ending to the perfect weekend.

Our frieds even got together and made tshirts so everyone looked amazing.

My next blog will be all the DIY!

Camping 301: Cuisine De Camping.

We've now camped in Big Sur 4 times! Should I now consider it a tradition? I think so. I am a big fan of traditions. Overall it was a blast but I was disappointed that the weather proved to be more foggy than SF and not at all sunny as the weather on my iphone purported. How much of a downer can it be when you're with friends and have booze though!? It cant be. It's built in amazingness.

Things I Learned while camping this weekend:

1. A Roasted Red Pepper has it's skin removed. Uh-huh. Yep. Put this on the list of shit I didnt know. I am going to say this is due to the fact that for 10 years I didnt eat red peppers cause they made my tummy hurt. Now, after some intense red pepper conditioning (a little once a week) - I'm all in and in love with them! Doug, our camping companion roasted these puppies over the fire the night before to include in the wraps for lunch. He roasted them and then removed the skins.

2. The Ultimate SMORE is actually not made with a Hershey's bar its made with Nutella. This darling idea came from a few of us who said when the chocolate doesnt melt its sort of a bummer. Graham Cracker + Nutella + Burned Marshmallow = Ultimate smore.




3. Planking is not just for athletic yoga freaks in public. It's actually better with Salmon. I had heard of Cedar Planked Salmon but never seen it in action. It truly is a great way to cook the fish in that it takes on an oakey flavor, cooks it perfectly and also you can burn the HELL out of the bottom and it doesnt effect the fish. Bravo to Aaron & Jenny for doing this one right.

4. An Orange Is An Orange Is a --- CAKE! Cute, functional and delicious. The trifecta of desserts. Jenny hollowed out these oranges, used a boxed cake mix and stuffed them with vanilla cake. She wrapped them in foil and then cooked then in the fire for 40 minutes. We thought they were just perfect! Next time I would put in some choco chips or nutella.

5. When Drinking A Simpler Time You Should Always Toast with a story of a Simpler Time! When you crack these mofos open amongst friends make sure to share a memory of a time when you think things were simpler. It's a great way to make new memories while toasting old ones.

Anyway, it was a culinary tour de camping. Friday night was our night to cook but I just prepared a chili at home the night before and heated it up upon arrival.

Butternut Squash, Black Bean & Hominy Poblano Chili

1/2 Butternut Squash, peeled and cubed.
1 can on black beans, rinsed.
1 big can of hominy, rinsed.
1 can of cannellini beans
2 cans of roasted tomatoes, diced and rinsed.
2 cans of diced green chilis + the water.
1 white onion, diced.
3 cloves of garlic, sliced.
2 poblano peppers, roasted at 400 degrees for 30m, flipping once.

1/4 jalapenos + some juice

Dash of Cinnamon
Dash of cumin.

Garlic Salt
Salt & Pepper


Step One: Over medium heat, saute the chopped onion and garlic until soft. 10 minutes. Then toss in the cubed squash and the diced green chilis. Cook and stir for around 15 minutes until soft. Salt with Garlic Salt.

Step Two: Take 1 of the roasted poblanos and put it in the food processor until it looks like pulp then stir into the chili. Add the cumin and the cinnamon then add the rest of the ingredients, saving the 2nd chili for the top (like in the picture). Cook for 45m over low.




Step Three: Garnish with white cheddar and diced red onions.

Lovely Little Weekend

This weekend had a BIG to do list but we decided to screw it all and just enjoy ourselves! And enjoy ourselves we did. I had a fantastic weekend that included:

A Friday Chill Night with Season 3 of Friday Night Lights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're sick of hearing about it! But damn that Tim Riggins is to die for. He is made up of : 1/4th Jordan Catalano's amazing flippy hair that sometimes slips effortlessly into his face, 1/4th of the broken "can I fix you, bad boy?" of Ben Covington, 1/4th the wittyness of Pacey Whitter and 1/4 the good looks of the older brother on 7th Heaven. Le sigh. If I was only 16 years younger.

A Saturday night with our friends Adam & Melissa of Hogs & Rocks and bowling at Sea Bowl. You dont have to have a huge menu in this city to be popular. In fact it's preferred that you just do 1 or 2 things well and the rest can rest on those laurels. We tried out the Mission favorite Hogs & Rocks (thats right, pig products and oysters were the stars) - see below for the amazing cocktails and salty meats. I give this place an A and I cant wait to go back! We even had Duck Heart which was pretty tough but a fun little adventure. I also tried bowling an entire game with my left hand and suffice to say, I did not break 100.



Went on an amazing day hike with Evie, Marq, Dawn and their 2 excited Dogs to Cataract Falls. I would say it was the perfect hike, with the perfect weather and the perfect friends but I would be missing the part where we got lost and turned a 3 mile hike into a 5 mile hike by completely going out of our way and making a wrong turn! It was awesome nonetheless and I totally recommend the hike 10 times over with the caveat that you MUST eat lunch in Fairfax afterwards at the Barefoot Cafe. A must!

..............and finished the night off on Sunday with some Into Thin Air by John Krakauer.

Pretty sweet weekend.

Oh! And I almost forgot the point of this post.......

Mexican Turkey Stuffed Roasted Poblano Peppers.
Thes babies were the.bomb.dot.org. or net. okay how about they were the bomb@facebomb.com? This is one of those recipes that you can make time and time again and just keep switching up the ingredients and modifying it until you have the perfect meal. I wouldnt change this variation a bit. It was my perfect meal. I topped it with some greek yogurt I mixed with cumin just to make it a little crazier.

4 Poblano Peppers
1 pound ground turkey
1 onion, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 can of black beans, rinsed.
1 cup of corn (I chopped it off the cobb, but you can use canned).
1 big can of diced green chilis, with juice from can.
1 can of roasted tomatoes, diced and rinsed.
a few pickled jalapenos.
1/2 cup of cheese!

Step One: Preheat oven to 400. I cut the tops off the peppers but didnt throw them away - I roasted them on each side for 20 minutes until they were soft! I didnt take out the seeds or anything I just popped em in.

Step Two: Over medium heat start with olive oil, onions and garlic and cook til the onions are soft. Keep on medium heat and start to brown the turkey. Once sort of cooked pour in the
green chilies and the jalapenos and continue to cook for 10m, turning occaish. Once you're done, salt and pepper to taste and throw in the corn and the beans and the tomatoes and simmer for 20 while your peppers roast and your flavors develop.

Step Three: Before stuffing the peppers with the turkey mixture, toss in your cheese so it doesnt melt until baked. Remove the peppers and stuff with the turkey mixture then bake for an additional 10 minutes......

Yum!

The Thrill Of It All

The weekend went so fast! I spent Saturday with my girlfriends Jenny and Evie outside of Sacramento soaking up the 90 plus degree weather gossiping about college and getting excited for the wedding weekend which is just about a month away. So much still to do! But I definitely feel in control. Let's just say this weekend was tres bad for my wedding diet but today is Monday and its August 1st so it feels super new to me.....I have 4 weeks to lose 10 more pounds and I think I can do it. And if I cant, its too late - shawn - you still have to marry me.

Upon returning to SF and its overcast wintery weather Shawn and I decided to fore sake our Friday Night Lights obsession and even put off Breaking Bad and True Blood for another night and rent a scary movie - Insidious. Watching this made me realize some things about scary movies:

1. Scan The Screen. My brain does double time on scary movies. Every frame I am desperately scanning the angles and empty spaces to prepare myself for something scary. Much like having to read subtitles on foreign films my movie watching experience is not just about watching the movie but seeing the movie differently than intended. Or is it? I wonder if they have dont studies on your brain during scary movies and if the anticipation levels match that of say getting your blood drawn. Anticipation is always worse than actuality.

2. Hypnotized. In this movie the main character gets hypnotized and I started considering whether I believed in hypnotism? I found myself subconsciously (pun both intended and unintended) - trying to become hypnotized simultaneously with Patrick Wilson. But why?! It's not real! Did I really think that by listening to a metronome and following the sound of the woman's voice somehow I would venture into my own subconscious? The attempt was brief but I came to the conclusion quickly I dont believe in it. Aliens and government conspiracies will be the extent of my fantasy beliefs.

3. Show Yourself. Much like going to a male stripper, you desperately want the payoff full monty shot but once you get it - you wish you had just never seen it and kept the mystery. You cant have it all. Most scary movies, when they show the real monster its not scary it trivializes the demon therefore losing all the clout surrounding it. We'd all rather see the outline of someone scary then see it revealed at the end only to make you think he looks like Dave Grohl during his Nirvana days. It's obviously relative but sometimes I wish the movie makers would skip the reveal and never let you see the demon.....

Anyway, in unrelated news I made these amazingly quick tacos on Friday and Shawn was a huge fan. They were cheap too. The star of this was the Lime Avocado Greek Yogurt topping. It was delicious on its own.

Shrimp & Chorizo Tacos with Lime Avocado Greek Yogurt Sauce
3 Links of Deli Case uncooked chorizo.
1/2 pound of uncooked shrimp
3 limes
1 cup Greek Yogurt
1 Avocado
1 White Onion, chopped
Cilantro, chopped.

Step One: I uncased the chorizo and browned it in a pan over medium until crisp and brown. While I was doing that I gently salted the shrimp and cut into bite sized pieces, then squeezed a whole lime over them. Once the chorizo was cooked I tossed in the shrimp which need about 5 minutes to cook total...just make sure they turn pink!

Step Two: Stir up the greek yogurt and mash up the avo and squeeze in the lime. I used 2 limes but some people would only want 1. Shawn is a lime addict. Salt a little!

Step Three: Chop the onion and cilantro for topping. Toast the tortillas and eat!

We used part wheat/part corn tortillas and they were delicious and even healthy.