Monday, December 15, 2014


2014. My favorite years are even numbered so these 365 days were a treat. Now we're on the precipice of an odd year and I am somewhat  skeptical of what it will hold. Before we spring ahead let us look back.

Here are a few musings on the past year's trends:

Secrets are nothing new. I guarantee even back in caveman times some cro-magnon man was holding in tidbits about the Pterodactyl who lived one town over. But now, the secret is kinda out on secrets. Between the mysterious untold truths on the most popular podcast Serial and the wildly mundane but entertaining SONY leaks, we're letting curiosity rule our consumption patterns. The bright side is, we're all talking about it, engaging in conversation for better or for worse.  I'm kinda okay with that considering I'm a 4 on the secret keeping scale.

MUSICALS ARE BACK IN THE MAINSTREAM (TO HATE WATCH?)Musicals used to be mainstream back in the 60s and 70s, then they took a break until - now? I'm usually all for musicals being introduced to a new generation but let's at least make them better than the originals! Purists are never going to say Annie didn't need remaking, because it was never that good to begin with (with the exception of Bernadette) - but Peter Pan? Ergh. That seemed like it set us musical lovers back a bit with a plummeting "cool" factor. I am hopeful for Into The Woods but you never know.

CELEBRITY DEATH POOLS ARE ACTUALLY KINDA SAD NOWThe world was pretty sad about losing Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams and Joan Rivers. It turns out it's only funny to hope old celebrities die. Predicting the passing of any other type of celebrity just crossed over into morbid morality territory. I can go dark but for a bit I'd like to stay light.


I get snapchats now. Both literally and figuratively. Before I thought they were just for sexts but now I realize they serve a great purpose - not taking up space in my camera roll and text history. I love exchanging quick tidbits with friends without committing to keeping that pic of you with chopsticks as walrus teeth forever. Moments are fleeting, texts are fleeting. Technology is taking something permanent and adding lifelike impermanence and I love it.

Not anymore. Over the past year we've seen Adrian Petersen, Ray Rice, Bill Cosby, Shia LaBeof and many more people come into the public eye negatively and I can tell that public opinion is becoming less forgiving. Personally, I never want to see Mel Gibson come back.  But sometimes I will listen to Chris Brown. It's an ongoing discussion but I think we're trending with a conscience.

SHOUT OUT TO TSA PRECHECK! YOU CHANGED MY LIFE. Ew. Remember when you had to take off your shoes and stand in line and take out your laptop at airport security? I don't. It's a distant memory thanks to $75 and an hour at a creepy ass office in the middle of nowhere. We're getting fast passes in life and I'm one of those people who will take it.

In 2013, our female leaders were super serious about Leaning In and stopping working from home and being strong men-like women. In 2014, it got more relatable thanks to amazing books by Amy Poehler and Lena Dunham. They aren't for everyone but they do chip away at the idea you have to be perfect as a woman to succeed. I'd rather be flawed and successful than pretending to be someone I am not. 


And here are some small observations/thoughtstarters: 

KRISTEN WIIG and BILL HADER should have a TV show together of them just riffing.

MAKING MOVIES OUT OF BOOKS is like immunity on Top Chef. No need to try very hard and be revolutionary cause you're gonna make money anyway. Though, when they are good you're like "wow, you tried hard and you didn't even have to!"

WAITING IN LINES FOR FOOD IS SO OVER. Make a reso like an adult or don't go. You will survive if you don't eat a ramen burger. 25m or less is respectable.

DID YOU KNOW 11 LIKES ON INSTAGRAM is the magic number to stop showing names? Not a comment, it's more of a fact.

GAS PRICES BEING LOW is such a better story than them being high.

PEOPLE CARE ABOUT FONTS NOW so don't make your logo or business sign in PAPYRUS because people are watching.

RESTING HAPPY FACE is the new creepy resting bitch face.

I"M SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING LITTLE MERMAID IS BETTER THAN FROZEN. and then judging girls who are super into Elsa and Anna. Let kids have something!

I'M NEUTRAL ON SHOE SELFIES. Anyone have a good argument against them? Is this what they mean by net neutrality?

The End.

Thursday, October 23, 2014


And now, back by popular demand - my usual fall tv show round up! Clearly, Popular Demand is actually just four people on my Facebook feed. Enjoy!

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On the Plain

FACT: Selfies are dead. Don't get me wrong, we are still going to take them and but we're going to outwardly hate on them. They are like talking about your dad's cool new pair of jeans. Eyerolls ensue. So besides calling the show something so painfully over, and besides the fact that the culture doesn't need a thinly veiled Pygmalion --- I kinda liked it. I mean I liked it so much that I watched three episodes and wanted to keep watching.  I adored her hipster neighbors and their rendition of Bad Romance. I always wonder if the hipster humor resonates with anyone who lives outside of a major city? But it hits home with this half hipster. My basic analysis is: it's nothing new and it's playing on a culture moment that's over but it's worth a watch. Doubt it will get renewed.

Are All Women Crazy?


It has all the makings to be my favorite show on television: 1). I worship at the alter of Casey Wilson. True story: I almost paid $300 for her to read me my horoscope over Skype as an indiegogo pledge donation. 2). It's by the creators of Happy Endings, one of my favorite shows of all time. 3). Ken Marino (as none of you remember him from Dawson's Creek The College Years or do remember him in The State) is a comedy god. So then why was the pilot so god-d pilotey? A friend and I were texting back that it had 2 of our least favorite things in a pilot --- a whiny woman who cares too much about getting engaged and a VERY stereotypical "I don't know how to do Yoga" scene. And one of those is a major premise point....I'm going to stick with it out of sheer potential. I laughed a few times and it had some shock value. Did you know you could say "tough titty" on network television?

Mulaney's Mulligan
This is another show I had looked forward to for months, I checked my DVR weeks before I saw the promo. John Mulaney's standup is beyond stellar and I love his manchild persona. He is the better half of my favorite sketch - Too Much Tuna on the Kroll Show. But......I just can't do single camera comedies with laugh tracks. It's so CBS. In the way that Louie did that weird HBO show Lucky Louie before he did his masterpiece on FX, I think this is Mulaney's mulligan. I think we will have to let him try again....I don't know that I will keep watching but if I hear it gets better I will put it back on my radar. Nasim Pedrad is the cutest tho! Elliot Gould would be good if he was the main character's dad but as a random neighbor, he plays no real part....I also give props to Martin Short who is just playing Martin Short but who doesn't want to see that?


Duplassian Pleasure 

TRANSPARENT on Amazon Prime
Okay, Okay, so I only watched one episode of this and it was only this am. I may be speaking too soon but I'm in love!  The cast (Gaby Hoffman! Judith Light!), the writing, the total LAness, the lesbianness. It's just what I've been looking for in a TV show. It's like a more realistic, more fucked up Parenthood. A friend who knows I have a pretty deep seeded Mark Duplass obsession dared to say that Jay Duplass is the new Mark Duplass and sure as hell.....he is. She knows me so well (Pam!) -- I can't wait to devour this on Amazon Prime and may have to take my time and savor every nuance.


Law & Order: Shonda Unit

As far as Shonda Rhimes shows go - this aint Scandal. It's also not anywhere near as good as the first season of Grey's Anatomy but it is......watchable. I say that in the most "okay there's nothing left on my DVR but this and 19 Kids and Counting so this. I choose this" way. I haven't had the moment where all I wanted to do was put down my Candy Crush and focus on it but I have had a great time half watching it. I guess it just takes itself too seriously at times. Although, it is about getting away with murder which is pretty serious.


Get Your Freak On
If you like Tim & Eric Awesome Show you will double down and love this too. It's basically a linear morality show as opposed to mini sketches. If you hate Tim & Eric don't watch this because you will also hate this. Their most recent episode called ROOMMATES about two Los Angeles actor roommates had me simultaneously cheering and cringing and truthfully that's just how I like my shows. I liken Bedtime Stories to a Sour Patch kid: salty, sweet, addictive, gross.


Another Show About Meeting Cristin Milioti 
A-Z on....? no idea.
No way I believe Ben Feldman's character exists on any planet. A good lookin, cool, hip guy who works at a like site and believes in love everlasting. No. Fucking. Way. I work in the epicenter of those aps and those who use those aps and it's not a truth, my friend. I think I will still watch this though because I need a little romance in my tv watching life (and while Mindy Project is still the highest ranking show on my does not deliver on the romance anymore) --


You're The Best!

Don't take my word for it - just watch it and let it's brass humor wash over you in a way that makes you feel good that you're bad just like them. If you don't like this show I don't know that any of my reviews will make any difference to you....because we're not of like mind. Everyone keeps asking me "Who's in it?" and the answer is no one you know or care about today but tomorrow you will care. It's like the cards against humanity show. Although, I have no clue how you do this show past 1 season....but I'm definitely in for the ride.

Here are the shows I plan to watch and review later: OUTLANDER, MANHATTAN, THE AFFAIR, THE KNICK.

Here are shows I never fucking plan to watch ever in a million years: CHRISTELA, JANE THE VIRGIN, NCIS NEW ORLEANS, BAD JUDGE, BLACKISH and GRACEPOINT (all hail Broadchurch).

And to make room for some of these shows, some of the old favorites had to get the heave ho. So this year I decided to send the below to the graveyard.

NASHVILLE. Can't handle the weird performance non-HD camera thing they are doing.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY. I will pick it up again someday but I may have had my fill of shows with 20 plotpoints.

SONS OF ANARCHY. Spent the whole summer binging to be able to watch the final season and I'm just not ready to take it in on a weekly basis. Saving for next summer.

NEW GIRL. It's lingering and crowding up my DVR for a day where there's nothing to watch but it won't be on a regular basis.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Every year I do a COUNTDOWN of my take on the POP CULTURE thangs from the year. It was in interesting year. We saw a lot happen and yet it was hard for me to pin down....

2013 - where you at!?

In 2012, brussel sprouts made a Mickey Rourke sized comeback. We doused them in oil and bacon and called them king of the veggies. 2013 is a whole new legume game. Rourke and brussel sprouts took a back seat to the most aryan looking veggie there is.....the cauliflower. We made it into pizza crusts, we curried it, we roasted it, we souped it. We gave it a makeover and set it free on the culinary runway and it shed it's pasty white tree trunks for all to enjoy. Mazel, Cauli.

You can't have a year end pop culture countdown without mentioning the queen of the scene Ms. Miley Cyrus. I think on some level she served as both a cautionary tale for youngins and their sexuality by creating a benchmark for grossdom, but for me she was also an inspiring catastrophe. I'm pleasantly surprised that I can still be shocked and I love it. I may not want to emulate her as a 31 year old married old bittie but I'm going to hold her up in a cultural trust fall while she blasts her brand of crazy cause I believe in pushing the needle on the norm.


Are we in stage three of the downfall of facebook? So many ads, so many links. I miss the old days of inappropriately shared feelings and photos. I miss the good old days of tagging photos without a forced hand. Stalking exes is only sporadically fun now, only little nuggets of the true potential of facebook eek through. I had to give up twitter for a few months but I can see a migration in my future. Currently, Insta is my pleasure and I feel the most comfortable and myself there.

Is anyone just like super into this pope? Gay rights tweeting, selfies. I Get it, Francie!

In one year we saw the magic man kill it on Breaking Bad's final season and get his own spin-off, front the sketch comedy show The Birthday Boys on IFC, and then take a dramatic turn in both The Spectacular Now and Nebraska. Can we give this man a key to our city yet or what? He owns me. I will follow him, follow him wherever heeee may gooooo.

So.....we've come pretty far I think. The hottest most trafficked articles being shoved around the internet this year are from a website called waitbutwhy doing some really relatable things like telling us the social science behind naming, proving why millennial have happiness issues. I think it's great to share a common conversation on the internet that isn't always about stupid shit (arguably started by me).


Name me ONE above average prime time network OR cable comedy sitcom from 2013. Parks and Rec is the only borderline still sometimes funny comedy sitcom. If you answer Modern Family I don't trust your taste. You are settling. You only like it out of obligation on your DVR. I promise you haven't laughed out loud in years. Mindy is awesome but not consistent. New Girl is meh. How I Met Your Mother feels like a web series with no funding. Everyone in CBS is a mess.  Brooklyn Nine Nine is eeeeeking out something but I'm not sure if it will last. In my time of crisis and need I turn to the classics...let's go on a Season 1 bender of Happy Endings.

Never has the bro-mance been so alive and appealing. Here's a few I picked up along the way and even may have coined myself - keep em coming, kids!

Welcoem to the BRO-deo (okay that was bad)
RainBRO Coalition

Sunday, November 17, 2013


Let me preface by saying I use the term "gamer" lightly. Having worked in the video game industry for almost 6 years, I can't claim to be on same level as my colleagues. I don't own a headset and to me "MMO" sounds like a genetically modified beef cut. I dabbled in console gaming with my PS3 but my heart belongs to IOS games. It started with Angry Birds, plateaued with Draw Something, reinvigorated with Cut The Rope and solidified with Rayman Jungle Run. (Throw in some Minion Rush for flavoring). As someone who hadn't played a game since the PC gem "You Don't Know Jack", it was a slow but complete conversion to video game lover.

I have learned some incredible life lessons over the past few years and sometimes it's shocking that it came from an unexpected place: video games. They have changed me.......emotionally. SAY WHAT? But video games are for killing war criminals and stabbing robots! Don't put your touchy feely emotional awareness on this! But here are some of the lessons I gleaned from my cube.

Until now, I thought of life as a linear experience. Time moves forward, we make mistakes but you cant go back and change the past. You can only move forward. But with video games you CAN start over. Sometimes I get a few seconds into my mission and decide I don't like where this is going and I start over. Easily. Bing bang, we're back at the beginning with a clean slate but to an extent I know what to expect so I am confident in going back to the front and foraging forward. I cant go back to the first day of  high school but I can make a decision to end something in the middle and start over. For instance, if I am making dinner and this pork isn't rendering the way it did on the Youtube video, I can scrap it and start again. At work, if I am writing a script and it's sucking, I can start over. We don't ALWAYS have to muddle through a situation we've created for ourselves and be a martyr. Start over! Rayman does it all the time.

ACHIEVE NOTHING LESS THAN PERFECTIONDid you know that video games are the perfect breeding ground for Type A overachievers? In school you get straight A's but after college, everything is relative. There is very little opportunity for undeniable perfection in life other than while playing video games.  No one in your job or your relationships can honestly say you are the BEST at what you are doing but on Cut The Rope you KNOW if you ate all the stars and finished with all the points, you won. It's black and white. There is no point in just playing a game if it's not for a perfect score if you ask me and THAT my friends is the source of all my woe in reality. Play to win. And no one can make you feel like a horrible greedy success monger in a game.

Most of my life I give into the reality that I live in a man's world. Men get the promotions, men get the better salaries and men have the last say. In video games, I am genderless.  I am a bird or a blob or a brain or a gun. I am not the girl who sometimes cries at work, or has PMS or is an incredibly greedy friend. I just need to cut that rope and feed that frog OR ELSE HE WILL DIE. Is that what it feels like to be a man? Sign me up in another life, please! We should all aim to be more like pacman eating dots.

I could be writing, reading, changing the world, volunteering, sewing, cooking, calling my parents, paying my bills, cleaning my apartment, making small talk with neighbors, hiking, exercising, working, writing my will, traveling, seeing comedy, listening to podcasts, dancing, catching up with my grandparents, finally making my wedding album, learning spanish or painting my nails but for this 10 minutes before I do all those things, give me a break. It's my life. I'll suck time if I want! I learned that I can eat cake for breakfast or play this game instead of washing my car and everything will be okay.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


Huffpo started it, Buzzfeed perfected it, Yahoo emulates it  - it's the as old as time (literally) but the newest trend since kale - it's a list! We all make lists whether it's a TO DO, a grocery, or a "reasons to date Rachel Green". But why does the internet love lists? Find out why we're coo coo for LISTAMANIA.

Am I supposed to read an article not knowing how long it is? I mean come on what is this? A book with 500 pages? If it's the difference between committing to an article on the "10 Best Colleges for Taxidermy" and "Get Your Degree in Taxidermy" I know going in that I am comitting to 10 topline clicks, nothing more. It's a fleeting advertisement for the attention span impaired. Look! This article has the confidence to tell you JUST how many points it's going to half halfheartedly make (with no facts).

There are 100 reasons to travel?! I mean I only need 3 at the most but I guess if the internet says there are a 100 --- shit is real. Validation for the mundane. Of course, I want to read all 100 reasons! Can I relate to any of the reasons? The excitement is palpable. Oh wait, I only made it to 15 - look - there's another article! "200 Ways To Change A Light bulb With 3 Polish People".

Okay, that may be a stretch.  Not since Letterman and my pun loving 10th grade algebra teacher has counting been so wild and carefree. It also gives you the freedom to list as many funny things as you can think of! You can range from 3 things to infinity things. Let's face it , Letterman's Top 10 set the bar high for lists of funny things and we're just getting to the counting renaissance, people! The internet is just trying to keep us entertained with endless amounts of things. More things, please!

Clocking in around 30m.


REASON 1: EGO TRIP: AM I ON THIS LIST?And for the best reason to DO ANYTHING.....*drum roll* ---- you may be in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why else do you look at people's pictures on the internet - you could be in them. TOP 10 COLLEGES YOU WENT TO? Sold. 4 TOWNS THAT ARE GOING BANKRUPT? MINE! THE ULTIMATE LIST OF EX BOYFRIENDS.....all mine. TOP 11 VEGAN FOODS THAT ARE ACTUALLY CARROTS?! I'VE EATEN THEM! Keep these lists coming and we'll keep sharing as long as they relate to us.

Sunday, October 6, 2013


Here we are again! It's pilot season. Every year, like the early stages of dating, I give everyone a chance. Very few make it to second base. In the past, I've gained Homeland and New Girl but also saw actors I love so much just flail in a miscast role.

Unlike last year where I was instantly evangelizing Nashville and completely taken with Girls, there's only a few I am DYING to DVR....

Here is my rundown of this year's pilot season:

Super Fun Night (ABC)  = Rebel without a cause.Rebel Wilson is without a doubt a revolution in comedy. She has been a relentless presence in the past 3 years. She has given us all the charming and surprising moments of all our favorite comedies like Pitch Perfect and Bridesmaids. Even hosting the MTV somethingerother.  What kills me is  -how is it that she gets cast in such a predictable comedy? We've seen this story before a thousand times: bigger girl has an awesome personality underneath her conformist personality and did you know she can prove everyone wrong? Meh. I'd rather see her in a comedy where she's the larger than life boss, girlfriend, doctor that you say undeniably - she's shining. We are just watching her through the glass of our tv and she's muffled.


HOSTAGES (CBS) =  Amazing.... for a CBS show.
Whyyyyyy oh wwhyyyyy do you have to be on CBS!? I begrudgingly dip my toes for How I Met Your Mother and now I am destined to watch infuriating 2 Broke Girls promos and watch as Amber Tamblyn kills her "marrying David Cross street cred" on Two and Half Men. I digress. I love a good suspense kidnapping kill the president hour drama and I have a real love of Dylan McDermott, Toni Collette and Tate Donovan (ask me about my Tate Donovan story another day) --- and this one hit me in the right spot. I want to know how this ends but I also want it to end. I can already tell,  I want this to be a one season show that takes its premise to the ends of the plot and never looks back. What I don't want is this Season 3 of Homeland where we are wondering how it all went so wrong?


HELLO LADIES (HBO) = Merchant has potential. 
Back when I lived in London circa 2002 I felt like I discovered something so completely different with The Office (by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant). It felt like nothing I'd ever seen before, felt before. laughed before or even been written before (for my eyes, at least). That being said, I'd probably follow them to the ends of comedy for giving me David Brent. Separately,  would Merchant and Gervais satisfy?  Would I be so....consumed? I am 50/50 on HELLO LADIES. I think my assessment,  which I would contend is also my issue with EPISODES is that British humor is so self sabotaging it just doesn't sit right in an American plot line. I liked the relationship and deadpan commentary on dating life in Hollywood. I'll dvr the second ep, though.

Masters Of Sex (SHOWTIME) = Can I get a hell yes!
Period dramas like Mad Men and Downton Abbey show us just how far we've come not only with technology (electricity!) and with social issues (women can work!) but Masters Of Sex shows us just how much we still don't know about sexuality. Even though it was a medical necessity to have to watch people *ahem* do it, I would contend it would still be very weird today. We're an open society in 2013, but people today would still cringe thinking about that. What I liked about the pilot was just how un-piloty it was. It had the confidence not to have to tell you everything. 

HONORABLE MENTION: Finally, a dramatic role worthy of Lizzy Caplan's talents! Sheen aint so bad either. She's a comedic darling but i could always tell her flair for the dramatics were being underutilized.

MARVEL Agents Of S.h.i.e.l.d (ABC) = There's too much to fix.
As a non comic book fanatic I adored The Avengers, therefore, I figured I would be able to get into this show. Same cast, same ideas. I have a soft spot for Joss Whedon that most people call obsession, mine is just a soft spot. However, I couldn't and cant move past the casting of Chloe Bennett as Skye. No not in the way that us nerds get mad over Ben Afflek as Batman, more in the way that is seemed completely unrealistic and dully entertaining. She's just a dud. Too pretty for me to take seriously, honestly. I think this will go 2 seasons then Whedon will get tied to a passion project or another major blockbuster.
HONORABLE MENTION: Clark Gregg is ever so dazzling, still. 

Brooklyn Nine Nine​ (FOX) = On the fence.I have so many reasons to like this show. One: Andy Samberg is perfectly cast. Two: Chelsea Peretti gets to be Chelsea Peretti. Three: Joe Truglio rounds out the successes of The State cast. However, the reasons I don't want to see this show fail are the exact reasons for me, it falls short. Samberg is cast perfectly but the tone of the show doesnt support talents. Chelsea it turns out is an Aubrey Plaza clone and Trulio does better as an absurdist character like on Burning Love or Wanderlust. Lastly, there are just too many cast members who look alike. Maybe I just miss the HAPPY ENDINGS days....I have heard it turns a corner in the 3rd episode so I will gladly take 30m to find out.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

In Defense Of The Rom Com

Romantic Comedies get a bad wrap, man. People think they are vapid and poorly written. I'm not going to argue with that, I mean any movie with Ashton Kutcher as a romantic lead I assume was written by a clueless estrogren replacement robot held captive, operating on only 2007 twitter retweets and Dude Where's My Car fan fiction.  Another major complaint is that life just isn't like that. The general population argues that that the idea of a prince charming and the bumbling heroine sets unrealistic expectations for real life relationships. I have never met a kid who saw a unicorn in movie and thought, wow, what a farce. Looks like I'll be needing some therapy courtesy of major movie studios.

As a woman who firmly stands behind her love of romcoms this is my defense of the genre:


How dare you make movies that put us on pedestals and give us way more credit than we're worth!? For every loser who would rather contribute to our low expectations so every date is a pleasant surprise there's the guy who sees this as an opportunity to inspire. You are out there, I have proof.  Sure, love isn't all about pretending to secretly date your cold but beautiful boss but then falling wildly in love with her despite all odds. Embrace this genre of Romantic Comedy, men - or I am sure the next genre will be Men Are Cheap. Those movies will only be only 7 minutes long so at least it wont be a big time commitment.

Do I want to date the Prime Minister of England?  Do I want to find love with a die hard Boston Red Sox fan who would bleed for the Green Monster? Or do I want a free spirit who teaches me everything I know about nature? My god so many to choose from. Had I not grown up knowing my options were so wide I may have settled for Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids. Or Hugh grant in Bridget Jones. Or Kanye. 

If it weren't for ROM COMS how would I relive my treasured and rambunctious 20s? (While also remembering my epic courting by Shawn) --- I mean this shit keeps us all young! First kisses, first dates, bad dates, good dates, one night stands.....these movies are all some of us married old biddies have! It helps me retroactively capture the youthful spirit of love while I get fat, stop caring and pathetically go to bed at 9:50 because it's ALMOST like 10 (which is a more respectable bedtime for an adult).

Okay, if  men cant live up to our expectations - fine. But for those women who say that these movies are the opposite of the feminist movement and set our sex back to the dark ages where we couldn't vote are clearly not watching ROM COMS. They are wrong. The overall message in most of these movies is BE YOURSELF, BE FUCKING SMART and use what you were born with to better yourself and even the lives of others.If you are dumb, stop fucking acting dumb. Have you ever seen a movie where the message is - hey! get dumber, look uglier, and we promise being a slob will get you everything you want.

Anyway - I love em. I'll always love em. They could be horribly written but I dont care.