Hello and welcome to 2012.
My Personal Celebrity Death Poll 2012. No one has ever officially asked me to join their pool so I am making my own. I have 3 predictions and I welcome you to email me yours. I have fomo for something I'm not even positive exists. I'm pretty sure I may eventually be smighted. Mine are (and dont hate me):
What are yours?
The Pretzel-Croissant. Sorry, I haven't actually had 1 but I've read about it and that's all I know. My life is obviously about to change. I am going to NYC next weekend to cash in a free flight and snuggle my friends (sans Shawn) and this is #1 on my list. I want to go to there. Take me to your leader. Sorry, Meagan - this is not celiac friendly.
Russell Brand vs. Katy Perry. Hard to say which of these two wins the divorce. On one hand Katy is America's Sweetheart but deep down we knew she was probably a prude, despite her claim she's had a "menage et trois". Maybe she thought it was a pastry? In the other corner is broken Brand whose sobriety we embrace and his sexuality we admire. I think Russell loses this one by a the tiniest of an overly hair sprayed hair. He's 37 and when you marry a 27 year old you have your work cut out for you.
Stephen King: Bag of Bones on A&E is a yawn but 11/22/63 is awes. I never read Bag of Bones but the 2 part miniseries on A&E starring Pierce Brosnan was pretty disappointing. 1. Pierce Brosnan is old and has old man body now and 2. It was super cheesy right down to the Ghost Writer-esque rearranging of letters on a refrigerate. PBS did it better in 1992 than you did in 2011. Skip it. On the other hand, his new book 11/22/63 is blissfully entertaining and suspenseful. Time Travel + Historical Fiction + The Supernatural + Love story + Simple Times = worth the 864 pages if you have the time.
Well, we dont want you either.
Coke Zero is a totally agreeable bevvie for a sweet manufactured mid-day craving.
I know soda is for the weak, fat, capitalist, toothless apathetic Americans. Unsweetened Iced Tea and "flat tap" not in a plastic bottle is for the hip! but I tried Coke Zero when all the Diet Coke ran dry and I am perfectly pleased with it's deep, syrupy, full taste.
Downton Abbey is the Keeping Up With the Kardashians of the early 1900's. Lady Mary (Kim), Lady Sybil (Kourtney) and Lady Edith (Khloe). It's just as dramatic as the reality series and has the small plot archs of mundane everyday life that make you simultaneously glad you're not as rich and boring as them but also jealous they dont have to get up for work everyday. Also, there's the secret ravishings and daily teas that make your heart yearn for a simpler time. Three words: Poor. Mister Pamook!
Other people's List of The Best Music of 2011. Who? Sorry, in 6 years I'll know these bands and by then they will be uncool.
The Nerd Alert for the Part Time Nerd. I'm sorry but it's JJ Abrams AND it takes place in San Francisco (I know it's filmed in the 'couv though) - AND I get to see what Dr. Neela from ER has been up to since Parminder left the pop culture sphere. I quit Fringe because I couldnt bear less Joshua Jackson. I will be FRONT row for this gem.