Hello Television!

Its been a wonderful few weeks of fall here in San Francisco. As we all know this lovely season provides Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Football Sundays, Bluegrass Festivals but also - all new episodes of our favorite television shows. After a very bland summer that forced me to join netflix again, I was ready for all my familiar friends to come back to my life. What I didnt expect was to make new friends. :) and isnt that what life is all about? Sigh. At first I thought - I am not a qualified television critic - but perhaps I am. What else should my 40 grand debt from Emerson College be worth? I say it buys me a pompous ego that allows me to comment on television. The Emerson Curse. the end.

I give you my Fall Superlatives....

Best Marketing Of A New Show: Glee!
Usually the worst kind of person in the world is a tease. Give us a taste and we cant think straight til we have the next fix. Terrible tramps. In television its a good thing! We waited all summer for this show to start and my how it has proved to be a tremendous powerhouse. Its funny, surprising, quick witted, many allusions to pop culture. Its all a girl can wish for!

Cons: They stole Jane Lynch from Party Down. The show's premise couldnt possibly last for more than 2 seasons. The main guy dude is like Chris Klein light and the main girl looks like she's descended directly from Idina Menzel. I dont like knockoffs.



1st Annual "Get Out Of My Face" Award: Entourage!

We've seen all you can do, cast of entourage. I dont need to see Vince grow old, I dont need to see Ari continue to be an agent or Lloyd keep being gay. This season alone had more boring plots than a minimalists cemetery *zing!* . Also, stop making people think women are bitches.

Let me remember you for your amazing 1st couple seasons and let Mr. Dillon continue on his comeback, not put him back where he came from by dragging this concept out to eternity.

Best Comeback: Ted Danson!

Remember when you first saw Kevin Nealon on Weeds? Or when Phil Hartman joined the cast of Newsradio? There are certain moments in time where you say - brava! Get this casting agent an Emmy! My friends, Bored To Death on HBO isnt going to last longer than this season as its just a vehicle for Jason Schwartzman to be Jason Schwartzman and for Zack Galifinakis to raise his profile - so while you can, check out Ted Danson's performance. Its smart, full filling and everything Sam Malone wasnt.

Best Returning Show of the Season: House!

Thank you for proving in your millionth season you still have the goods to make us question diseases and believe in characters. Thank you for believably getting your main character off of drugs and still making it edgy. Thank you for kicking off almost the whole last season of characters that didnt matter and giving us back the old cast.

................and thanks for a mental patient episode, it was like being able to watch One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest in 2009.

Best New Show: Community!

I predict this will be the new 30 Rock. I make that comparison in many ways. I predict it will have a rocky unnoticed 1st season and people will get into you next year and rent many dvds. I also predict Chevy Chase will emerge as an even cockier Alec Baldwin and steal the thunder of an underused comedian in the 90s whose turn on prime time tv will earn him roles in movies and then he will act like the major jerk he is and love him anyway.

The Sopranos Award: Mad Men!

I love you because you're like nothing else out there, you take chances and you have stuck to your mission statement with confidence and commitment. On the other hand you're boring me. I'll still watch, just like I did for every season of The Sopranos because I am not a quitter.....so....more Peggy and Pete Campbell and less Betty Draper. Use your supporting cast wisely and you will be rewarded.

The Award for Outstanding Excellence in The Field of Science: Fringe!

If you're not watching this show, you're missing out. If you are watching this show you know what I am talking about. I dont want to have to convince you if you're not into it but here are the pros:

Josh Jackson.
Josh Jackson.
Oh and awesome mythological and supernatural plot lines. Like Xfiles but better, just not as iconic. Less sexual tension, though.

Other Honorable Mentions:

Curb Your Enthusiasm: Worth the wait. Happy you're back and this time with heart. Larry David you had me at Seinfeld Reunion.

Bones, you are the fluff in my fluffernutter. You'll never be Emmy Award winning or top notch but you do what you do well. Like Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy the dialogue alone is worth the 30 minutes + commercials.

Grey's Anatomy I had to downgrade you to online only. I'm sorry but my DVR did the choosing. If you can make it worthwhile, I'll trust you again to be watched on the silver screen. Until then, you're a Saturday morning treat while I kill time for Shawn to wake up.

Project Runway - I know you had a rocky transition to Lifetime and I am willing to call this season a mulligan. I am excited to see next season in real time and find a designer I can believe in. Also, stop treating LA like an urban city.

Top Chef - You can only have so many flaws, you're about food and failures. No amazing personalities this year but as usual, lets let the food speak for itself.

Brothers & Sisters - While I still watch you and you give me the waterworks when I PMS, nothing but habit is keeping me tuned in, but habits are wonderfully warm for a reason. Keep it coming, Sally - I''ll still tune in.

Intervention - I feel unshakable and complacent about drug habits now. I need another huge episode to rock my world. I am still on the edge of my seat.

The Forgotten: Yeah, I watched you because I love Missing Persons shows and now that Without a Trace is gone, you're the filler. I give you a D because I find it hard to believe that all the clues you happened on a REAL cop would have looked over. FAIL.

The Office: I cant give you up, but you're kind of obsolete now. If I give up on you its like admitting I should never have given INTO you in the first place. My allegiance is to Ricky Gervais and had the first 4 seasons not rivalled the real deal we wouldnt be here in the first place. Dont break up Jim and Pam just to keep the show going, rather - give us another reason - like Amy Ryan to keep tuning in. You're the Thursday institution we crave so keep it going.